It is a season of
transition. For over three years, I have been incredibly blessed by
being part of a very special small group. A group of dear friends,
five of us, that God brought together as a small group. On Friday
nights we would meet and share dinner together. Then we would
transition into my friend's living room and there we would share our
hearts. We opened up and were vulnerable with one another. We shared
what God was doing in our hearts and lives. There we would dive into
God's word together and share sweet times of prayer. We have walked
each other through some extremely difficult seasons. We have lived
out what it means to speak truth in love, perverse in love and truly
spur one another on in Christ. These dear friends have seen me at my
absolute lowest point and they have loved me. Oh, how we have seen
God at work. Oh, the stories we have of changed lives, changed hearts
and incredible answers to prayers. How He has used each of us to
allow us to know more of Him. There is so much to celebrate of what
GOD has done through this special group.
For God is the One
who brought us together. And now that season has come to an end. And
I sat in my car just soaking in the lyrics of this song... “I love,
I love, I love Your Presence”.
Oh Lord, how I
love Your Presence.
I realized how
drastically different my response is with this season coming to an
end. In the past, when seasons have changed or come to an end with
relationships, I have been left feeling hurt and mourning the loss of
the intimacy I once experienced. For I had opened my heart up and I
found myself vulnerable. I found myself clinging to relationships and
I have found out through intense pain of what it's like for God to
remove this idol from my heart and life. For I did not experience the
depth and beauty of meaningful friendships for much of my life. I
left high school with many deep wounds and hurts. Feeling the void of
community, love and acceptance. When I finally found what my heart
longed for, love and acceptance, I wanted to cling to this. Yet
truly, no one can fulfill us. No one can satisfy our hearts. Our
desire for love and intimacy. Our desire to be known and accepted.
Not the best of friend, not the perfect husband, no earthly
relationship. No one except for the Lord our Maker. Our Abba Father.
Our Beloved.
It has been a
long, difficult but rewarding journey of truly discovering the beauty
of His Presence. For in His Presence there has been healing for my
heart. In His Presence there has been such joy, such freedom, and oh
such satisfaction. In His Presence, there has been a freedom to love
and enjoy others free of any expectation. For my soul has found it's
rest in the Lord.
As these words
washed over my heart “I love, I love, I love Your Presence” my
heart was bursting with such sweet gratitude. For my Abba Father has
walked with me through each season of my life. Whether I have
acknowledged Him or not, He has been there. He has been there,
through every up and down. Through each struggle and victory. Through
the mundane and the everyday. He has seen and understood each
challenge I have faced and He has been the One who has brought me
through the impossible. He alone understands my heart and my soul.
And He alone satisfies me.
One of my love
languages is quality time and oh how I love the memories I have with
my Beloved King. There are so many memories over the years. So many
stories I could share. Of sweet times in His Presence. Such sweet
times. Memories of experiencing and feeling His love. Of His strength
when I have been weak. Of His courage when I have been scared. Of His
peace when I have chosen to trust. Of His provision when I have
waited and prayed.
And oh how I love
His word and how He speaks to me. Of how I can flip through my Bible
and see verses underlined and dates written in the margins. How He
has used different scripture in such powerful ways at different
points in my life. To comfort, to convict, to strength, to give hope,
to transform, to bring life, to give direction, to show me His heart
for me.
“I
love, I love, I love Your Presence”
Lord God, oh how I
love Your Presence. Thank you dear Lord for the sweetness and
intimacy of Your Presence. Thank you Lord that there is always more.
More of You. More of Your love. Oh Lord, I have only scratched the
surface of the beauty of Your Presence and the depth of Your love.
Thank you Lord for how You have brought such satisfaction to my soul.
Thank you that during this season of change, I am secure in Your
love. Lord God, strip away distractions from my life. Lord God, burn
within me such a strong unquenchable thirst and desire for Your
Presence. I confess how easy it is for me to look elsewhere for
satisfaction. Oh Lord, take me deeper into Your love and into the
beauty of Your Presence. More of You I pray! In the beautiful and
precious name of Jesus, Amen
"Because
Your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify You.
I will praise You as long as I live,
and in Your name I will lift up my hands.
I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise You."
my lips will glorify You.
I will praise You as long as I live,
and in Your name I will lift up my hands.
I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise You."
Psalm
63:3-5
I love Your
Presence by Jenn Johnson
"In the glory
of Your Presence
I find rest for my
soul
In the depths of
Your love
I find peace that
makes me whole
I love, I love, I
love Your Presence
I love, I love, I
love Your Presence
I love, I love, I
love You Jesus
I love, I love, I
love Your Presence"
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